The saying goes, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” but research is showing that this age-old proverb couldn’t be further from the truth. We now know that the brain retains its ability to learn new behaviors and habits throughout one’s entire life.
So if we can change, why don’t we? According to M.J. Ryan, author of This Year I Will...: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True, change takes hard work.
Our brains have enormous “plasticity,” meaning they can regularly create new cells and pathways. But our brains also create strong tendencies to do the same thing over and over again. These habits can range from beneficial ones, such as exercising daily, to damaging ones, such as smoking.
What we often don’t realize is that, like physical habits, mental habits are formed the exact same way. A feeling of helplessness, for example, is a learned mental behavior. Feeling helpless can hold you up and interfere with your success. Much like a smoking habit, a mental habit can have negative impact on your life by acting as a brake on your potential.
Dr. Martin Seligman, in his book, Learned Optimism, discusses the chief psychological caveat in our lives. He calls it “learned helplessness.” Seligman’s research demonstrated how animals can be trained to feel that they are helpless. In one example, he put a dog in a cage with a glass wall in the middle that separated the dog from a bowl of food. The dog was hungry and tried to get at the food but kept banging his nose on the glass. After several hours, Seligman removed the glass. And what happened then? The dog, still hungry, sat only a few inches away from the food and never even attempted to eat it. The dog had learned to feel helpless. He had become so convinced that he was incapable of getting to the food that even when the obstacles were removed, he just sat there with his stomach growling.
According to Seligman, here’s why: The brain cells that fire together wire together. Meaning, having run in a certain sequence, they are more likely to run that sequence again until it becomes a habit. It’s one of the ways the brain conserves energy. By now, you’ve got a deeply grooved pathway to doing what you’ve always done. That’s why change is hard; you’ve got to practice to create a new pathway that is strong enough to compete with the old one.
Other common negative thought patterns can include depression, anxiety, and obsessive compulsive disorder, among others. Dr. Paul Greene, a psychiatrist who specializes in cognitive behavior therapy, explains, “For some people, depression can be driven by unhelpful and inaccurate thought patterns. These patterns can become so well rehearsed over the years that they become habitual. For example, we all know ‘glass half-empty’ kinds of people; in a more extreme form, this type of thinking can cause depression.”
Thankfully, research proves these kinds of learned negative mental behaviors can be unlearned. Follow these useful tips on banishing your limiting thoughts and adopting new habits that will help you reach your full potential.
Look at what might be holding you back - According to Dr. Greene, “We can unlearn negative thought patterns by becoming more aware of how we're thinking, and then learning to challenge our unhelpful and inaccurate thoughts.” Recognize the old, negative mental patterns that do not serve you, such as “I am terrible at my job”. Once you do this, you can determine what new habits you would like to adopt. Then make a plan to incorporate those ideal habits more regularly.
Make it nonnegotiable - Promise yourself that you are absolutely going to make a change. When you do it, where you do it, and how you do it can, and most likely will, change according to circumstances. But that you will do it is not open for consideration. Making it compulsory is a tool for overcoming backsliding after your initial enthusiasm fades. Set a daily reminder in your Blackberry or leave Post-It’s on your bathroom mirror, whatever it takes to remind you of your goal.
Set yourself up for success - It’s easier to succeed when you are prepared. Make your goals actionable. It’s best to know ahead of time what specific actions you’re going to take each day: 10 cold calls a day, for instance, can help you gain confidence in the workplace over time. Be sure to track yourself so you can tell if you’re succeeding or falling behind.
Practice makes perfect - According to experts, the average time it takes to form a new habit is just 21 days. Practicing new behaviors is the key to forming new neural pathways in the brain. Repetition generates habit forming, so be sure to consistently practice the behaviors that will support your ultimate goals.
Excuses be gone - Instead of just hoping it will be different this time, write down your typical rationalizations and create coping strategies in advance. That way you won’t get stopped in your tracks and lose forward momentum when they arise.
Focus on the horizon - Take a tip from high-performance athletes. Look at how far you’ve come, not how much you have left to do. Scientists call this the horizon effect. It creates encouragement (“I’ve done twice as much as a week ago!”) and builds determination (“I’ve made it this far; I might as well keep going.”) Don’t forget to ask yourself how you’ve accomplished the task, so you can mine your success for ideas on how to keep going.
Our ability to change is one of our greatest capacities in life. When you have this invaluable tool in your arsenal, you’ll be empowered to bring anything you want into reality and reach your full potential.
Limiting Beliefs That Curb Our Ability to Change:
Limiting Belief: “Bad Habits Can’t Be Broken”
As much as you’d like to say, “Sayonara!” to your old habits, the pathway you’ve ingrained in your brain is there for life. Author
M.J. Ryan suggests focusing on the new, more positive habits you’d like to instill and keep at it no matter how many times your brain jumps the tracks and goes back to the tried and true.
Limiting Belief: “I Will Forget”
Unless you have a trigger from the outside, like a Blackberry reminder, a note on your computer, or a coach or buddy, it’s virtually guaranteed you’ll keep defaulting to the old behavior.
Limiting Belief: “I Want a Quick Fix”
Don’t expect change to happen overnight. Most of us are not concrete enough about what we want and are also unrealistic about what we can reasonably ask ourselves to change. We often expect too much of ourselves, and we expect to change immediately. When that doesn’t happen, we resign ourselves to staying the same, convinced that we are weak or unmotivated.
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